This is my first attempt at our holiday card which will likely turn into a present for my mother-in-law.

My lovely wife reared her ugly ways this morning, and, well, this is my response. I did let her know I think she's a knucklehead but it's unlikely she absorbed anything I said due to her Evil Fever. Sigh.

This is my officemate, April. She's a ballerina in a sea of silly string when she's not doing her day job. Naturally, I've exaggerated her proportions which is always a risky move due to a woman's proclivity to being insane. Oh well. Thanks to John Quinn and his affinity for cherubic ladies as the person most responsible for this interpretation.

It's not as if I'm feeling particularly evil although I will admit I failed to blink at a mom who was walking her child across the street to school today. Perhaps it's because I just saw Borat again and the scene where the horned, monster jews were running through the street is still fresh in my mind. I'm not much of a jew nor am I particularly devilish but I've aspired to be more of both in my lifetime. At present, I have no interest in either. In any case, here is portrait #4. (It's occurred to me I need new experiences otherwise I'll be drawing myself forever more. Sorry.)

Moderately productive day. I had cheese, salami and yogurt for lunch...I wonder what's for dinner. Here's portrait #3.

Just what everyone was waiting for... portrait #2.

Ollie still likes to be swaddled with one arm free to express himself. His yelps have ascended to garbled blather.

Last time I wore a white shirt I slobbered coffee upon myself. Today I've been slobber-free but still fearful of being stained. And who's to say the stain must be visible? My three year old daughter was recently exposed to America's Top Model, a weight-loss infomercial and The Disney Channel by our babysitter whose brain must have evaporated due to her low-grade fever. Babysitter aside, what sort of stain must my daughter bare because my wife and I decided to absorb a few cocktails leaving our kid to battle the ignorant ills of American culture? If there's a lesson to be learned it's to make sure the next time we leave the house, we need to party like rock stars in a porno pit while watching monkeys waterboard Dick Cheney. If I'm gonna screw up my kid, I gotta be compensated.

I'm thinking of trying to do a self-portrait of myself for 30 days straight but knowing myself the way I do, I'll likely find something marginally less gripping to waste my time on. But who knows? I tend to do this junk when faced with having to do other more important junk. What I really need to be working on is a birthday illustration for Erika, holiday cards for us and a wacked-out design for my sister. Mmm...the chances of seeing more me drawings are increasing.

I'm loving my wife today for some inexplicable reason...best not to question.

My halloween wasn't anything like this...